Cosmetic Surgery

Need a breast augmentation to look like a Barbie doll? Don’t worry, you can still be a Miss America of sorts at the Beauty Enhancement Awards. This pageant celebrates “natural beauty with enhancement,” which is to say, natural beauty artificially altered with thousands of dollars in plastic surgery.

Surgically augmented, lifted, and rejuvenated contestants compete in a variety of categories, including best makeover, best liposuction, best tummy tuck, best breast augmentation, best couple makeover, and other categories. There’s also an award for best plastic surgeon. It’s not all about aesthetics, though. Contestants discuss how their makeover affected their lives in the interview segment, no world peace speeches necessary. Winners receive products provided by the show’s sponsor, the Make Me Heal cosmetic surgery website.

Some may decry this “educational” competition as despicable, but is it really different than any other beauty pageant? The Miss USA® contest’s official policy is to allow plastic surgery as it is impossible to enforce a rule forbidding it. In an effort to discourage plastic surgery, though, Miss USA® has permitted the use of bra padding since 1990 (the no-padding rule proved equally unenforceable, I would guess). The Miss America® scholarship organization is mum on the subject.

I think we all can recognize the real crime here. Someone should tell these women that there are more reliable methods of getting a college education out of breast implants than winning a beauty pageant.